We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
