My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
