maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
