you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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