your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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