Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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