wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
