I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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