Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
