she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
