based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
