I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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