so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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