Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
