so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
