I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
