How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
