now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
