So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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