Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
