I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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