Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
