Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
