Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Operation Purity has been aborted
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
