@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
