First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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