at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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