I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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