Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
