I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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