the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
