I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
