some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I am midnight drunk by noon
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
