No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My hand turned me down
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
