she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
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you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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