why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
do herpes really smell.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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