it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Randomize
