Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
