Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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