I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
