broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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