Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
