Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
