So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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