I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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