A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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