my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
