So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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