I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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