Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
