do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm both gender and math confused
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
