If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
