Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i've created a new STD.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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