That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
