gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
