People in love make me want to vomit
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize