i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
