hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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