being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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