I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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