Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize