i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
