Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
