Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wish there were birth control emojis
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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