i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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