i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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