I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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